Posted by
Chad on Tuesday, March 18, 2008 12:46:47 PM
Laura opened her eyes and saw she was all wet with no shoes and sitting on a wooden palate covered with card board. In front of her was a 4 year old girl, also on card board sitting there lifelessly and pale almost like a wax figure. The girl was wearing a light blue one piece baithing suit and had on water wings, an orange plastic inflateable ones on each arm.
Laura wondered if it was a bad dream when suddenly she heard a voice, "Excuse me, miss". She turned around to see a Jewish looking man also wet with no shoes standing 10 feet away with his arms crossed. "My name is Abraham Foxman," he said, not offering a hand to shake.
"Where are we?" Laura said. "There has been a tsunami and we have fortunately been picked up by an Indonesian super tanker." Abraham said.
"What about the girl", Laura replied. "The girl won't even tell me her name. All she says is 'stupid wave.'"
Thinking out loud Laura began rambling, "I was in the grocery store and suddenly water rushed in and the next thing I knew I was spinning around in the dark with clanking bottles of corned beef and cheerios boxes all around me." Awkward pause, "My kids were yelling, 'mom, mom, what's happening'".
Having lost track of time Laura woke up again and Abraham looked very upset. "It is as hot as hades in here" Laura said before she realized the words were leaveing her mouth.
Abraham said, "The crew has been killed." Pause "It was a mountain of fire from heaven like it says in Revelation." Abraham said.
Abraham went on, "I am the president of the Hebrew Defense..." embarassed pause. Starting over he said, "I was the president of the Hebrew Defense League. I practically memorized the New Testament because one of the things I did was combat the Christian Missionaires."
Laura bristled at the situation, "I don't know what all this stuff is about, I am Catholic, you hear me? Where can I get some clean clothes!"
Abraham said, "OK, fine, I am telling you I am a Jew, but now I know the Bible is true and you have to listen to me to survive what is happening, it is the end of the world, you know, Armagedon... 666, the mark of the beast, all that scarey stuff."