About Me

Name: Charles Corban...
Biography
Loading...

Create Your Own Blog Find Other Townhall Blogs

Comments

Blog Roll

 
[Click to edit me]

Worm Hole in Space

Posted by Charles Corban (Chad) Higgins on Sunday, April 26, 2009 12:32:00 PM
This one is by Astronaut Barry Shermer.
 
I was the last one on the space station.  Everyone else was afraid of 2012 and went back to earth.  The Gamma ray burst was hitting the station so I had to take evasive maneuvers to hide in earths shadow on the day it hit.
 
I thougth I was a goner, but NASA was able to get off one space shuttle with supplies before the fire hit.  I could see down there the arora, the blood red moon, the fire over one third of earth.  Then it all clouded over.
 
So we didn't know what to do.  How do you land the space shuttle with zero visiblity.  After we ran out of food we decided to risk landing at White sands in New Mexico.
 
Luckily we were able to land in low visibility.  Smoke was everywhere.  We were greeted by a man in a Navy uniform.  He said his name was Brian Carson and that he was 698 years old.  Hmm.
 
Then he showed us picturs of the statue of liberty covered in sand, just like from planet of the apes.
 
Brian had a giant landing craft rigged up and we made our escape from what he called Shinar.  Before reaching the glassy sea we first went through what Brian called Gama Land, land created by the ocean going down.
 
When we reached civilization we found out Brian realy was 698 years old.  It was a worm hole in space.  We got to meet our decendants, all 14 generations of them.
 
Email ItEmail It | Print ItPrint It | CommentsComments (0) | TrackbacksTrackbacks (0) | Flag as offensiveFlag as Offensive

To Live A Thousand Years Twice

Posted by Charles Corban (Chad) Higgins on Friday, April 24, 2009 11:05:55 AM
This one is by Methusala, yes, the real Methusala.
 
My English is no good so I have guys from Hebrew University translating this for me from my antideluvian language.
 
The Lord brought me back so I could show the prince all the best places in Gama Land.  This is hinted at in Ecclesiastes (Koholeth in Hebrew) where it Solomon mentions a man living a thousand years twice. Now I am over 1,800 years old not counting time in heaven.
 
The Israeli cops had me in the mental ward till Hebrew Universitty linguists rescued me.  A nursing assistant had a relative on staff and gave them a call. 
 
What are you supposed to do if you find a guy walking around in the middle of the night in a white robe pointing at him self saying "Methusala" in a wierd accent?
 
Darn! If God can tell you he is sending Elijah or whoever can't he send people without telling you ahead of time!  He is God isn't He?
 
So they really freaked out once they realized I was fort Knox in the flesh for them.  I was top secret for 10 years even after Armageddon.
 
The Goyim were messed over, we beat them to the punch on every ounce of gold cause of me!  Mamzers! Now those uncircusized dogs are acting up I am alot more crafty than the 100 and 200 year olds.

Me and Ed Koch are gearing up for war.  You think he is old?

 (This is what he really said, sorry, must be old age.)
 
 
Email ItEmail It | Print ItPrint It | CommentsComments (0) | TrackbacksTrackbacks (0) | Flag as offensiveFlag as Offensive
« Previous1Next »